November 24, 2011

Living the dream

This is a little story about how I got here....

This summer I had a health scare. Coincidentally, our health insurance changed at the first of the year and there was a learning curve - researching the new system and finding new doctors. I spent about 2 months waiting and contemplating  my uncertain health.

During that time I thought a lot about my mortality. I though about who I love and who loves me. Who would I miss if I passed away and who would miss me. I thought about my kids and Cutie the most though, and what a horrible fate it would be if they lost their Mama. My absence would change their lives forever.

My life, a dreary existence up to this point, began to take on an unmeasurable value. My place on this earth became rightfully mine and incredibly precious. I would often think about a death bed scenario in which I would reflect on how fulfilling and meaningful my life had been. It was during those imagined moments that it became clear to me that in order to feel fulfilled I need to be doing something creative.

At some point during this 2 month period of reflection, all of the pieces fell into place. I saw a dream that would involve making quilts, having a little etsy shop, and blogging about my creative adventure. In my dream, all of the fear and apprehension that had hindered me for so long, didn't have a place. I felt driven to do what I love.

In a sense, this dream was born out of uncertainty and when faced with an uncertain future, the path to fulfillment in my life became very clear. Thankfully all of the medical tests I had came back normal.

I am grateful for so many things today. What comes to mind immediately is the abundance of love that exists in my family. I am also grateful to have this glorious life experience that my soul was gifted. The only way I can truly say thank you for this gift of time here is to go forth and sew.

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